Object of Affection
by VladimirVampier
Summary: Soundwave always watched his object of affection and obsession from afar, but now that he's stuck in the shadow zone he can get a lot closer. So close that he could see the changes that Knockout goes through. He can see how every day the medic get worse and worse. Could he be in time to escape the shadow zone and save Knockout from himself?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello and welcome to Object of Affection, a Knockout x Soundwave story.**

 **Its written in Prime verse, post TFP season 3 & Predacon Rising.**

 **Summary: Soundwave always watched his object of affection and obsession from afar, but now that he's stuck in the shadow zone he can get a lot closer. So close that he could see the changes that Knockout goes through. He can see how every day the medic get worse and worse. Could he be in time to escape the shadow zone and save Knockout from himself?**

 **Rated: T+**

 **Warning: This is yaoi/slash, don't forget and simply don't read if you don't want to.**

 **Extra warning for a (bit) angst, also forms of depression and unconscious planning on suicide.**

 **Pairing: Knockout x Soundwave, slight Bumblebee x Smokescreen**

 **Characters: Knockout, Soundwave, Laserbeak, Ratchet, Bumblebee, Smokescreen, Wheeljack, Bulkhead, Arcee.**

 **Useful info:**

 **Servo = hand**

 **Helm = head**

 **Pedes =feet/foot**

 **Glossa = tongue**

 **Talons/digits = fingers**

 **Optics = eyes**

 **Processor = mind/brain/head**

 **Dentae = teeth**

 **Also, English is not my mother languages so I apologize for weird sentences and grammar in advance.**

 **I hope you enjoy.**

 **Make sure to notify me if you have questions or things you want to say, or leave a review.**

 **Reviews are much appreciated, so are follows and favorites.**

 **Off ya go~**

Soundwave had always watched his object of obsession and affection from afar. He always had an extra optic out for the cherry red medic, the camera in the medbay always on screen. He even refused to send a groundbridge for wounded Eradicons and Vehicons if he saw that the medic was busy enough already. He let them die for Knockout's sake.

It does sound a little morbid, but he'd do it again. The only time he let his guard down was around his lord or if he was alone in the medbay with the gorgeous medic. Soundwave always felt so at ease that he almost started to talk to the medic. Can you imagine? Actually using his voice. And atop of that, he had to stop himself from removing his facemask. Sadly, them alone was a very rare moment.

Only after a battle would he need a check-up and he didn't always participate in the fighting. Soundwave was aware of the swirl his spark did whenever Knockout looked at him. He knew the feelings he had. He was no stranger to love, although everybody seemed to think otherwise. He had his fair share of lovers. But this time it was different.

Knockout made him feel shy, that hardly ever happens. That's the reason why he never actually told Knockout about his feelings. He just watched him closely from a distance, kept silent and facemask in place. Not that it mattered now… Those human kids had put him in the shadow zone, so nobody could see or hear him.

Right before the moment the wreckers came barging in, he had been listening to Knockout talk. He didn't know why the medic loved talking to him so much, maybe he just was a good listener, but he would not complain. The medic had been talking over the Autobot medic, he didn't agree with the way Ratchet was treated. He also complained a bunch about Shockwave.

The next moment, the comm. had cut short and the wreckers were in. He knew that he was trapped in the shadow zone as soon as his talons went right through the children. At first he'd been afraid, second he instantly went to search for Knockout. As he witnessed the medic surrender and change sides, he let out a sigh of relief, instead of feeling betrayed as he thought he would be.

The medic loved his finish too much to get beaten up, but he was also smart enough to know the battle had been lost. Soundwave was happy to know no harm came to his crush, although that wrenched wrecker kid had hit him, he would get her back for that. He witnessed the death of his leader, which he grieved, the leave of Shockwave and Starscream and the victorious Autobots taking Knockout to the brig.

He stayed close, yet this time not from a distance. He was there when Megatron rose again with Unicron in control of his body and when the dead Predacons came back to life. He saw how Knockout showed that he was really on the Autobots side by hitting Starscream. He witnessed the defeat of Unicron, the leave of his master and the sacrifice of the Prime.

His spark whirled happily as he saw how Knockout got taken in with the Autobots and how he earned his place in the medbay. Mostly thanks to the scout that killed his former master. He was not sure whether to be thankful or not. He was certain that, once everything was settled, the gorgeous cherry red mech would be fine.

Soundwave never knew he could be that wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

Laserbeak chirred happy. She had been afraid at first, but when she noticed the freedom she had in the shadow zone, she was relieved. She didn't always need to hide, stay on her master's chest or run errands. She liked the freedom of flying around whenever she felt like it. She only had hoped her master would feel just as happy. He was happy… for her and that's not what she wanted.

She noticed how her master was always staying close and watching one mech in particular. She liked the red medic too. Other medics forgot she was there, part of her master, but this one hadn't. He had always cared for her and her master and if she'd been good, he gave her a treat.

Whenever her master looked at the medic recharging, she could feel his longing, his sadness. It wasn't the first time she felt these emotions coming from her master. She chirred softly at him and he moved his helm to her, softly nuzzling each other.

"I'm sorry," he said over the bond. She chirred. She worried about him. If he loved the mech so much, why hadn't he told him already?

"I'm afraid it's not that easy," Soundwave said, making Laserbeak realize she thought out loud. "Besides, we're stuck in here," Soundwave said. His helm turned back to the medic as said mech groaned loudly.

Knockout began to move more, a frown on his faceplates. Laserbeak chirred worried. The medic didn't look like he was comfortably recharging. With a loud gasp, Knockout sat up straight in his berth. He put his servo over his optics which had been wide with fright.

Soundwave could hear a sob escaping Knockout's lipplates. His spark swirled wildly. Knockout composed himself and left his quarters, going to his washracks. Laserbeak wondered why they didn't follow. She hopped off of Soundwave's shoulder and waddled after the medic. Soundwave thought it was inappropriate to follow Knockout into the washracks.

Though he did like it when Laserbeak send him some snaps of the medic, though not completely dirty, they were making his core temperature rise slightly. He called Laserbeak back and the birdlike Cybertronian came waddling back into the room, giggling softly. He tsk-ed, but laughed.

Once Knockout was finished, he left his quarters. Soundwave followed him, of course. Knockout entered the medbay, putting up a smile. He greeted Ratchet, who rumbled something back. Not soon after he set his stuff up, came the first wounded mechs. Apparently, there had been an accident with one of the freshly build buildings, it had collapsed and wounded dozen of Eradicons and Vehicons, but also Smokescreen and Wheeljack.

The wrecker got hit the worst. Both medics had their suspicion of what caused the building to collapse. All Eradicons and Vehicons were helped at the beginning of the evening. "You help Smokescreen, I'll take this stubborn piece of scrap," Ratchet told Knockout, pointing at Wheeljack.

"Hey!"

Knockout sighed, he actually felt too tired for the bickering of medic and patient, even though he'd normally laugh about it. Smokescreen seemed to notice too, as he climbed on the medberth. "Hey, Knocky, you okay?" he asked. "Don't call me that," Knockout snapped," I'm fine."

His voice had more venom than he wanted, but he just felt so tired. "Ok," Smokescreen said softly, giving him a small smile. Knockout felt guilty for snapping at the rookie, but said nothing. He started to patch up Smokescreen, not long after he was finished. Ratchet was still working on Wheeljack, as well as still bickering. Knockout shooed the rookie out of the medbay and left after him.

He actually should get some energon, but he just didn't feel like it, so he went to his quarters to work on some medical reports. Knockout worked until late in the night. He sighed and rubbed his optics tiredly. He was tired, oh so tired, yet he didn't want to recharge. He sighed.

"It's the fact that I need to recharge or I wouldn't have," he mumbled to himself. He was unaware of the mech close by, hearing what he said. Soundwave looked worried at Knockout as he fell into recharge. Even if it was no comfort for Knockout, he'd wake over his recharging form.

Soundwave woke from recharge as he heard groaning, not remembering falling into recharge. Knockout was moving around in his berth, moaning in distress. Soundwave was confused to what caused the medic to recharge so uncomfortable. He seemed to do well with the other Autobots, it could not be that, Soundwave was sure.

Knockout awoke, chassis rising and falling quickly. He held his helm in his servos, shaking badly. After a moment, he calmed down. But instead of going back to recharge, as he should have at such an early time, he went out of the berth.

Soundwave watched as the medic sat at his desk and resumed working on the datapads he had used before. Soundwave kept watching as Knockout worked through the night and left his quarters hours before his medbay shift started.

As he strolled after the cherry red mech, he realized that the medic had skipped his morning ration of energon. Never before had Soundwave wished to use his voice more than now. He wanted to question Knockout, order him to take his energon and scream at the others for nor noticing anything.

"Knockout?" Ratchet asked surprised, when the medbay doors opened to let the mech in," What are you doing here?" The cherry red mech put on his usual smile and shrugged. "I thought I'd help you out," he said. Ratchet gave him a are-you-kidding-me-look as he motioned for the empty medbay.

"Go back to berth, you look like you could use some recharge," Ratchet sighed. As he looked the medic over, he thought something had changed, he just couldn't tell what. "No!" Knockout snapped," Ahem.. I mean, I'll check if I can help the others instead." He fumbled awkwardly and turned around. Ratchet cocked an opticridge as he watched Knockout hurry away.

He wondered why the young mech had snapped, but decided to let it go. He shrugged and resumed cleaning and ordering his tools. On that moment, Soundwave had wanted to hit the mech on the helm. Apparently it wasn't obvious enough that something was wrong with Knockout.

Rubbing his optic, Knockout walked into the main room. "Hey, Knockout!" Bumblebee greeted," Wow, you look tired. Shouldn't you go to your berth?" Knockout instantly put on his façade, hating himself for dropping it in the first place. "No. no, my optic just had a bit of dust in it, I was trying to rub it out because it wouldn't calibrate correctly," Knockout lied quickly.

"Oh, does Ratchet need to take a look at it? I could comm. him if you want," Bee suggested. Curse Bumblebee for being so kind. "Haha, no. No need to call in the grumpy old medic," Knockout laughed," I can fix myself."

Bumblebee looked him over. "Are you sure?" he asked," I know that sometimes I need others to help fix me, even if it's something small." That seemed to have struck a nerve, because Knockout suddenly looked away shamefully. "But, what are you up to anyways. Your medical shift doesn´t start in at least 4 hours and you´re never one to be up and running this early in the morning," Bumblebee said.

"What do you mean 'early', it almost feels like it's already past midday," Knockout jokes. "when it's 8 o 'clock in the morning?" Bumblebee asked confused. Knockout seemed surprised at hearing which time it really was. "I thought maybe there is some patrol I could go on?" Knockout said carefully. Bumblebee stared blankly at him.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Bumblebee asked, looking worried," I know you much rather stay here then go on patrol." Knockout averted his optics. "I'm fine." Bee did not look like he believed it. After some awkward silently staring at the other and at the wall, Bee walked to the groundbridge controls.

"How about you and me check out that building that needs to be checked if we can renovate it or if we have to demolish it?" Bee said and put in the coordinates. Knockout nodded, but stayed silent. "At least you won't be alone and we could chat a little," Bee said smiling. He started up the groundbridge," After you."

Knockout smiled, transformed and drove into the green vortex. Bumblebee's smile fell and made place for a worried look, right before he transformed and followed Knockout.

Laserbeak chirred and Soundwave agreed. If anybody could sense that Knockout wasn't as fine as he seemed, it would be the scout.


	3. Chapter 3

At some point, Smokescreen had commed Bumblebee if he could come too. Not seeing anything wrong with that, Bee had send him their coordinates. Right after he did that, a strong wind started up. A very strong wind. The storm winds on earth were nothing compared to those on Cybertron. These were so strong, they could blow a poor bot away. Or a very instable building…

"Frag!" Bumblebee cursed as he saw how the rumble came right his way. He sprinted away from it, almost outrunning it. He suddenly felt a push and he yelped as he rolled over the ground. A scream of pain could be heard along the sound of the building collapsing on the ground with a thunder.

Bumblebee felt the ground shake as he saw his friend disappear. "Knockout!" A deafening silence followed. Bee shot to his pedes and ran to the spot where he last saw the medic. As he began to move red finish and began to dig harder. A green vortex whirled to life not far from the havoc, when Bumblebee pulled Knockout free.

"smokescreen! Help!" Bee called to his friend as soon as the rookie stepped from the groundbridge. Smokescreen instantly commed Ratchet when he saw the duo between the remains that once was a building. "Bee! What happened? Are you alright?" he asked as he sprinted towards him.

"I'm fine," Bumblebee said as he cradled the red mech close," It's Knockout, h-he pushed me and ended up under the falling building." Knockout's frame was covered in dents, cuts and scratches, energon leaking from open wounds. The worst wounds were his broken audiofin, the gash in his left side and…

"Oh, Primus…Bee," Smokescreen uttered," His legs…" Bee nodded," I know." From the knee joints down Knockout's frame was unrecognizable. What once were his legs and pedes, was now one big bleeding mess.

A groundbridge appeared and Smokescreen and Bumblebee carried Knockout through. Ratchet stood ready with a stretcher on which they lay the red mech. Knockout's optics were closed and his mouth hung open, panting harshly. Ratchet gave him a painkiller then moved him to the medbay.

Smokescreen and Bumblebee followed. "Status," Ratchet said quickly. "I get nothing, a couple of scratches maybe, but Knockout took the blow," Bee said quickly. Ratchet nodded," After I'm done with him, I'll see to you." Bumblebee started to protest. "I will see you!" Ratchet called and the medbay doors closed with a bang. Bumblebee hung his shoulders and Smokescreen took his servo. He softly squeezed the servo and gave Bee a reassuring smile.

The urge to get out of the shadow zone grew with the moment as Soundwave stood frozen before the medbay doors. He didn't even flinch when the rookie and scout phased through him as they left. Laserbeak reminded her master that if he truly wanted to see the doctor, he could simply go through the doors.

Soundwave shook his helm. He didn't think he could take it to see the beaten frame of his friend and love-interest. He decided to fly to the Nemesis and look for a way out of his predicament. As much as he loved the fact that he could get very close to the medic like this, he much rather touch Knockout and feel that he truly was in his arms.

It was late in the evening when Ratchet emerged from the medbay and motioned for Bumblebee to come in. Smokescreen had tagged along and sat in a chair between the berth where Knockout was lying on and the berth Bee sat on.

"Wait here," Ratchet said and went into the adjoining office. "Hey, how are you?" Smokescreen asked the barely awake Knockout. The red mech shrugged. "Still a bit high on painkillers I see," Smokescreen chuckled. Knockout shook his helm, but yawned. That earned him some chuckles, so he stared at them offended.

"Hey, Knocky? Why'd you push me?" Bumblebee asked, referring to the casualty that morning. The medic shrugged. "you shouldn't have done that," Bee said softly. Smokescreen grabbed Bee's servo in his. "If you hadn't, we both would be buried," Bee said. "Exactly," Knockout raspy voice sounded. He started coughing harshly.

All that dust and rubble had not been friendly on his vents. "Hadn't I told you not to talk?" Ratchet said as he walked back into the medbay, scanners in servo. Knockout crossed his arms and turned his helm away from the medic.

"sparkling," Ratchet muttered," Smokescreen, scooch." The rookie stood from his chair and decided that on the other side of the berth where Bee sat was a good place to stand. He took hold of Bee's servo again. Bumblebee offered him a smile. Ratchet eyed the both of them, then set to work.

Laserbeak started giggling and Soundwave let out a little laugh. He had seen it too, he only hoped he could do the same with the handsome cherry red mech. To Hold Knockout's servo would be a privilege.

Soundwave decided to stay in the medbay, keeping watch over Knockout. He was sort of relieved that the medic was confined to the medbay. Now he had to catch up on all his missed recharge. He knew Knockout was bored, he could see it in his faceplates and the fiddling of his thumbs. Not to forget that hardly anything interesting was happening in the medbay.

A whole week passed without Soundwave really knowing it. He had been content to stay at Knockout's berthside, even if Laserbeak went for a flight once in a while. He felt no desire of being anywhere else but at Knockout's side. Seems that after a week, Knockout was quite done with it all.

Long after Ratchet went to recharge and the lights were turned off, Knockout opened his optics. As silently as he could, he pulled out the energondrip and turned off the sparkmonitor. He let himself drop off the berth. Soundwave automatically reached out to him, forgetting that Knockout couldn't see him.

The red mech carefully walked through the medbay to the doors. His legs hadn't healed properly and it took a lot of energy out of him. Knockout had to grip one of the medical tool tables to keep him steady, before he continued to exit the medbay. Soundwave wondered why nobody heard him clutter through the halls.

Were they on the Nemesis, he had known it instantly. But they weren't on the Nemesis and the Autobots were not like Soundwave. Knockout stood in front of the groundbridge controls, putting in the coordinates and starting up the groundbridge. Soundwave usually didn't follow him to give the medic some privacy, even though Knockout didn't know he was there in the first place.

Knockout had left multiple times before and Soundwave hadn't followed. But, since it was in the middle of the night and Knockout just left unauthorized the medbay, he copied the coordinates and flew there.

To his surprise the coordinates led to the stranded Nemesis. What did Knockout do there? He had already moved all his belongings to his new quarters. Soundwave began to wonder if Knockout had been going here for the past few weeks. He entered the halls and searched for the cherry red mech.

Soon he had found Knockout, standing at some consoles. The medic was typing and clicking on things randomly, as if he was searching for something. Soundwave thought about the things that could possibly be only on the Nemesis computers and not on any other. Knockout kept grimacing until he let out a soft 'aha' when he found what he was looking for.

Though Soundwave didn't exactly understood why he searched for that particular item. Before he could think more of it, Knockout suddenly fell to the floor. Soundwave dashed forward to check up on him, but a groundbridge suddenly appeared. Arcee jumped through and looked around. Very soon, her optics had found what she was looking for, lying sprawled on the floor and looking close to offlining.

She gasped and rushed towards Knockout and picked him up in her arms. Soundwave felt slightly jealous as he watched Arcee carry his red mech through the groundbridge. Although Laserbeak laughed at his jealousy, he could feel her worry for the medic.

Soundwave petted her, telling her that Knockout only fainted because he was using his legs too quickly and that he would be alright. Laserbeak agreed and nuzzled her master's cheekplates. Soundwave petted her again, then transformed and flew back to Autobot HQ.

There was a certain mech he had to keep his optics on.


	4. Chapter 4

He slowly onlined his optics. He could make out 3 helms through the blur.

"Is he onlining?" a deep voice asked.

"Sadly, he is," a gruff voice answered.

"I hope so, so I can offline him myself," a feminine voice growled.

"Surely you won't harm him," the deep voice said.

Knockout blinked to get rid of the blur. Now it was clear to see the faceplates of Bulkhead, Ratchet and Arcee swarming above him. Slag. He passed out, didn't he? Slag, slag, frag. Now they were sure to question him.

"Follow the light," Ratchet said as he shone a little light in Knockout's optics. The red mech did as he was told. "Good," Ratchet said, huffing. A beep sounded to inform the CMO that the scan was completed. "As far as I know, there's no processor damage," he said. Knockout laughed.

"Processor damage, me? Nah, not this pretty helm," he said. "Then you won't mind explaining me why I found you passed out on the floor of the Nemesis," Arcee said sternly. "That while you should still be in berth to heal your legs," Ratchet added. "And why where you searching items about double crossing groundbridges?" Bulkhead asked.

Knockout held up his servos as they shot questions at him. "First off, yeah I thought I was good enough to walk, my bad, but you obviously spied on me so you have no right to question me," Knockout said, looking at Arcee. She began to protest, but Knockout continued," Second, save yourself the swearing and threatening Ratchet, I know I fragged up. Third, that is none of your business."

Bulkhead looked like he wanted to say something, but kept quiet. "I guess I'll be going," he mumbled," 'Cee you coming?" Arcee stared at Knockout with a frown on her faceplates. "Arcee?" She huffed and turned around, leaving the medbay followed by Bulkhead.

"Knockout…"

Ratchet's voice was so much softer that Knockout stared at him in shock. "I know you don't really feel like it, but you are our business, my business in particular," Ratchet said. His optics had a certain glow, as if he knew how Knockout really felt. That scared the red mech. He was nobody's concern, he couldn't be. He was alone and he knew that. They couldn't convince him with lies, that he wasn't alone, that he was cared for, that he was loved. The only mechs he once cared for were gone.

Warm servos suddenly grasped his upper arms. He only then noticed that he was shaking badly. "Knockout?" Ratchet asked softly. The red mech looked at him with wide optics. "Hey," Ratchet almost whispered," I lost you there for a second. Are you okay?" Knockout didn't flash his usual smile, he could not bring himself to.

"Yeah, I'm just…" Knockout said, adding 'having a breakdown in the middle of the medbay' in his processor," cold." Ratchet laid his servo on top of Knockout's forehelm. "Hmm, you don't have a fever, but you are running a little hot," Ratchet said," I'll get you a thermos blanket." He stroke Knockout's helm and walked to the closet. "You're probably cold because of your low energon level this past week," Ratchet explained as he gathered the blanket in his arms," Even though I had you on drip. Seems like the recovery of your legs drains your energon."

Knockout looked the other way, ashamed of himself. Ratchet didn't know Knockout had tampered with the energondrip to make it give him less energon than needed. The CMO placed the thermos blanket over Knockout's frame, tugging him in.

"There you go, better?" Ratchet asked. Knockout nodded, baffled by how gentle the medic was. "You take some rest now, you need it," he said and petted Knockout's helm again. Knockout blushed slightly as he saw Ratchet disappear into his office. His optics felt unusual heavy and he decided to let recharge take him.

Laserbeak chirred in curiosity, but Soundwave shook his helm. He didn't feel jealous of the CMO touching Knockout, he was the mech Soundwave trusted Knockout with most. Ratchet would heal the handsome mech, he was sure.

Laserbeak was so relieved when Knockout's legs had healed properly, that meant the medic really was going to be ok. She flew in circles above Knockout's helm as he was leaving the medbay. She went so fast she almost seemed to form some kind of halo over Knockout's helm. Soundwave felt happy at her excitement, but he also had a feeling that something was off. He couldn't really tell what.

Although Knockout was truly happy that he was out of the medbay, he still felt bad. The others had decided to watch the groundbridge controls 24/7, and if Knockout wanted to go somewhere, somebody had to go with him. It was driving him mad. It meant that he couldn't go back to the Nemesis and resume his research, which he had started since a month ago.

That was really taking him down. His mood had considerably dropped since the little incident. He didn't flash a smile, laughed at one of Smokescreen's jokes or looked content at all.

The rookie and the scout noticed first.

They had been watching a movie and invited Knockout. They knew Knockout liked movies. But Knockout said no. He had locked himself inside his quarters, something he did often. So Smokescreen decided to get him, not taking no for an answer. Bumblebee had resumed watching the movie until Smokescreen came back with Knockout thrown over his shoulder. The first thing that Bee noticed, which he found quite disturbing, was that Knockout wasn't screaming. Normally he'd been screaming everybody's audios off, demanding that Smokescreen put him down if he valued his life, yelling to him to watch the paint, growl at him, struggling in his capture's hold.

No. Knockout was quiet.

Smokescreen deposited him on the couch, between him and Bee in. Knockout did not look happy, but stayed silent. As they watched the movie, Smokescreen tried to make some small talk with Knockout, but the medic's answers were short.

At some point Smokescreen gave up. Bee interlaced his talons with Smokescreen's, behind Knockout's backplates, as he saw the sad expression on his faceplates. Smokescreen smiled at him and squeezed Bee's servo. Soon they were watching the movie again.

When it was finished, Knockout stood and left without saying a word. Bumblebee looked from Knockout to Smokescreen, who shrugged. "Don't you think something's odd?" Bee asked. "Yes, but sometimes we all have a foul mood," Smokescreen said. "Smokey… his had been going on for weeks now. It's not just a foul mood," Bee said gravely. "You worry too much," Smokescreen said and smooched Bee's forehelm.

Bumblebee blushed and leaned back into Smokescreen. They cuddled close as another movie started. Knockout still in the back of their processor.

Ratchet was at the groundbridge controls when he got another comm. from the younger medic asking him if he could take over. He send back an affirmative and went on his way to the medbay. The first few times he refused or questioned Knockout why.

He had thought Knockout wanted to sneak off again. He had expected the red mech to be insulted and argue when he said no. But when he received a 'ok…that's ok…' once he had said no, he grew worried.

The following time he said yes and had taken over. Knockout had looked much paler than he normally did and Ratchet had asked him if he recharged well. Knockout had waived him off and ignored the question, telling him that he 'absolutely didn't have to worry about him'.

That had set Ratchet off. Every time Knockout had laid the emphasis on not having to worry about him. The CMO had asked Wheeljack to keep an optic on Knockout and tell him what he did after he had taken over the medbay.

The first few times Wheeljack told him that he was in the recroom and as soon as he thought nobody was around, Knockout looked absolutely miserable. Wheeljack and Ratchet had asked themselves why Knockout put on an act for the others. Didn't he trust them? Was he to vain to let them see that he could feel pain? Was it them who made him feel like that?

Knockout began to ask more and much sooner if Ratchet could take over. Sometimes he still had 3 more hours of his shift before it ended and Ratchet had eventually more work than Knockout.

But knowing the other felt that bad, Ratchet couldn't say no and took over the extra work. He could see the gratefulness peeking through the blank look that was always on Knockout's faceplates and he knew the red mech appreciated it. Ratchet still had Wheeljack keeping tabs on him, but the outcome was always the same; Knockout would exit the medbay then walk to his quarters and locked himself in.

Wheeljack had once knocked on his door and asked if he was up for a race. They both began to realize how bad Knockout must feel when the answer was, and stayed, no. And again, when Ratchet entered the medbay, Knockout stood still looking like the living dead.

Ratchet sighed and walked over to him. "I'll take it," Ratchet said as he took hold of the tool in Knockout's servo, which he had been cleaning," You go and get some rest." Knockout willingly let go of the tool and rag. "I don't need rest," he said softly. His normal snarling, loud talking, etc. was completely gone and nowadays it seemed only this soft and fragile voice came out of Knockout's voicebox.

"Yes, you do," Ratchet insisted. He could clearly see the exhaustion in Knockout's frame. He had a hunch that the red mech didn't recharge well and he only hoped that when Knockout locked himself in his room he also tried to get some rest. Though he doubted that. Knockout said nothing, nodded and left. Ratchet soon after got confirmation from Wheeljack that the cherry red mech had locked himself away again.

He wanted to help Knockout, but he didn't exactly know how and that really bothered him.


	5. Chapter 5

The first few days after she found Knockout unconscious on the Nemesis' floor, Arcee kept close watch on Knockout. He had really scared her with being so reckless and she was sure to follow him wherever he went. She could see pretty quickly that Knockout felt worse than he let on.

His smile was forced and didn't quite reached his optics. That was before he had stopped smiling all together. It scared her to see him break down little by little and she felt like a helpless bystander watching a car crash happen.

Knockout hadn't left the base since that one time. Not to sneak off but also not to go on patrol or race, which he was permitted to if somebody went with him. That wasn't like the Knockout she knew. Even if that was a cocky, smart-aft, she much rather prefer that over this far too quiet mech. Quiet just didn't suit Knockout.

Arcee was standing behind Bulkhead, waiting for her turn at the energon dispenser. In the corner of her optics she saw the doors to the recroom open. When a moment later she turned her helm to see who had entered and sat at a nearby table, she almost dropped her freshly made energoncube.

"Knockout?!" she blurted out in shock," What happened to you?!" The medic was, very unlike his vain self, covered in scratches and smudges. "Uh…" Knockout muttered than slowly looked from Arcee's shocked expression to his own frame," oh…yeah." He looked back at her with a blank expression. "Is that all you have to say?" Shrug. "what happened? Why haven't you buffed it out already?" Arcee asked.

Knockout shrugged again," I don't know. Some are from when Smokescreen hoisted me over his shoulderplates after he broke into my quarters and kidnapped me. Some are from when I fell over." Arcee's expression went from shock to worry. She took a place at the same table as him. "And do you fall over a lot?" she asked. Knockout seemed to think for a moment. "Not really, sometimes it just gets black and then I fall."

Arcee was very worried now. "But I'm gonna go now," Knockout said and stood. "where are you going?" Arcee asked. "Probably back to my quarters," Knockout answered. "What are you going to do?" she asked curiously. Knockout hold still at the door, turned towards her but frown aimed at the floor. "Actually," he said and looked her in the optics. His expression gave Arcee the chills as he whispered.

"I don't know anymore."

It was the nth night and Knockout was having a nightmare. Again.

He hardly recharged and as soon as he did, he awoke moment later, shaking, venting harshly and crying. It hurt Soundwave so much to see him like that. At one point Knockout began talking in his recharge. He kept shouting "Please don't go! No! Don't leave me alone! Please!"

It was driving Soundwave absolutely mad. He didn't know who Knockout was shouting to, there were a lot of possibilities. Lord Megatron, though unlikely, Knockout hadn't been that fond of him. Shockwave? Probably not, yeah, definitely. Oh no, he wouldn't be screaming for Breakdown right? Or maybe Dreadwing? It could be, though…why now? Wouldn't those nightmares have started sooner?

Soundwave thought about more possibilities. Predaking? Somehow that seemed funny, but no. The only possibility left was their former SIC. Even though Starscream had scratched Knockout's paint once, the two had grown closer over time. Soundwave's spark pulsed in pain.

No sooner had he tried to suppress it, when Laserbeak came flying back, telling him that it was okay to feel. Nobody, but her, was around to see it. He dropped to his knees as his processor gave him more and more reasons for the medic and the Air commander to have a relationship.

He sobbed softly. Laserbeak landed in front of him and he hugged her to his chest. She told her master not to give up. Starscream was gone and maybe he could heal the medic's spark by offering his own. Soundwave's sobs died down, but he kept hugging Laserbeak.

They both looked up as Knockout awoke screaming. The poor mech looked exhausted. Knockout lay back down, optics wide open and trying not to slip back into recharge. It went on like that for the rest of the week.

At the end of said week, Soundwave's doubts were suddenly pushed aside. The medic had started to scream for the certain mech to not leave, again, but this time it was unexpectedly followed by a name…

"No! Soundwave!"


	6. Chapter 6

"So, Bulk, what was that important thing you wanted to talk to us about?" Wheeljack asked as he sat next to Arcee. Bumblebee and Smokescreen sat opposite from them, consciously or unconsciously holding servos. Bulkhead stood at the table, a serious expression on his faceplates.

"Remember how Arcee followed Knockout to the Nemesis, where he lay knocked out on the floor?" Bulkhead asked and everyone nodded. They didn't like talking about that incident, that was the point where it all went downhill with Knockout.

"I went back to search in the history of the computer to see what Knockout was looking for," Bulkhead said," and I finally figured out why Knockout was searching for items about double ground- and or spacebridges." It didn't seem like the others understood, so Bulkhead continued," Don't you guys remember what happened if two groundbridges crossed?"

Bee and Smokescreen looked from Bulkhead to each other. Arcee's optics lit up and she let out a little gasp. "The shadow zone," she almost whispered. It was quiet for a bit when the others seem to realize it too. "The shadow zone?" Smokescreen said confused," What…? Why..?"

He shook his helm. "Is he really feeling that bad that he wants to vanish completely?" Wheeljack asked. "Did we make him feel this way?" Arcee asked the dreaded question. It went quiet. "Guys..?" Bumblebee said softly," What if he doesn't want to get in the shadow zone, but get something, or someone , out?"

Bulkhead looked confused, Wheeljack and Arcee stared at him with an opticridge cocked and Smokescreen looked worried. "But," Smokescreen said," Who?" Just then they could hear Ratchet yelling. They all got to their pedes and dashed to the main hall where the groundbridge controls were.

"you are coming with me!" they could hear Ratchet yell. "No!" That sounded like Knockout. When they entered the hall they saw the two medics standing opposite from each other, trying to stare the other down.

"you have no choice," Ratchet said," I'm your medic, I have to take care of you. You are coming with me to the medbay." It seemed as if the two medics didn't notice the other Autobots standing there. "I don't need a medic and I certainly didn't ask you to take care of me," Knockout sneered back. "Knockout, do you really not see how much you need others, to take care of you?" Ratchet asked softer.

The response followed immediately. "I don't need anyone!" The others held their servos over their audios, wincing in pain, but Ratchet was unfazed. "Knockout, I know you've not been taking your energon rations and that you haven't been recharging properly," Ratchet said calmly. The others gasped in shock. They hadn't known, they hadn't noticed. Bumblebee gripped Smokescreen's servo as guilt overtook him.

"So, you noticed," Knockout said, icily calm, and looked away. "I need you to let me take care of you," Ratchet said," I can help you get back into shape, I can listen, I'll understand." Ratchet had closed in on Knockout, slowly stepping closer, he could almost lay his servo on Knockout's shoulder. Knockout snapped his helm back towards him, fire in his optics. "No!" he backlashed Ratchet's outstretched servo away, jumped back and growled.

"You **don't** understand, you do not know how it feels!" Knockout screamed," You do not know what it's like to see the love of your life vanish into thin air, but still knowing he's out there. Not being able to touch or feel him! To be left alone all over again!"

He doubled in on himself. "I know, I understand why you locked him into the shadow zone, but this pain is just so agonizing," he cried," I love him, just barely figured it out…and you took him away from me."

The others looked in shock at the crying red mech. They hadn't known the medic felt like that about the TIC of the Decepticon, but then again… they hadn't known Knockout like they did now, back then. Smokescreen wrapped his arms around Bumblebee when he noticed the tears in one's optics. They all felt guilty. It had been their plan, their doing.

"Knockout," Ratchet said softly, kneeling down next to him," I'm very sorry. But you can't do this to yourself, there are other ways…" Knockout shook his helm. "I just want the pain to be gone," he whispered. Suddenly, he jumped up, transformed and gunned it out of the base. Ratchet transformed and followed the red speedster with blaring sirens.

Bulkhead and Wheeljack looked at each other, then transformed. "Looks like the doc could use some help," Wheeljack said," you three stay here." Arcee nodded and they drove away. Bumblebee had wrapped his arms around Smokescreen's neck and was crying softly. Smokescreen hold Bee close, his arms around Bee's waist, whispering into the scout's audios.

Arcee guided them to the couch, where they resumed their hugging and softly talked to each other. Arcee was glad to notice the scout calming down. He has a wonderful boyfriend, she thought with a small smile, but then frowned, and if they are not in a relationship, she would make them. Smokescreen catched her frowning and she quickly send him a small smile.

It seemed to take hours before Arcee got a comm. to open the groundbridge. Bulkhead stepped through first and Wheeljack walked behind Ratchet, they looked like his bodyguards. Ratchet stepped through, Knockout limp in his arms, optics barely open. "Oh.. Knockout…" Smokescreen sighed as he walked up to the medic and stroke his helm.

"Don't worry, he still has some fighting spirit left," Wheeljack said," took him long enough to run out of energy. He kept going harder than we did." Smokescreen took Knockout from Ratchet's arms. "I'm going to set up a medical berth, bring him when I'm ready," Ratchet said softly.

Smokescreen sat back in the spot where he sat with Bumblebee. The scout instantly took the red mech's servo. Smokescreen stroke his cheekplates. Knockout was still venting harshly, but managed to say: "I don't want your pity." Smokescreen smiled softly. "It's not pity, it's concern. We are worried," he said. "Don't want that either," Knockout mumbled and closed his optics.

His energy levels had never been this low, courtesy of no energon. He felt like falling into stasis and he had no problem with just letting go. But there was a certain cranky old medic who had other plans for him. He had to stay online to prevent anything that the medic wanted to do to save his life.

"So, how are we going to help him?" Arcee asked. "There's only one way," Smokescreen said. "It's not like anybody is against the idea of freeing Soundwave," Bulkhead said. "Before all this, I would've called you crazy for wanting to get a Con out of the shadow zone," Wheeljack snorted," but after seeing what it does to Knockout. I would call you crazy if you didn't do it."

The others nodded. "But how do we get him out?" Bumblebee asked," Won't we need a double bridge?" Bulkhead's optics twinkled," I might know something." He started to explain the basics of space- and groundbridges and their differences.

He lost Smokescreen after the first sentence, Bumblebee soon after. Arcee was keeping up well, before he started on the schematics and double bridges where she too lost it. Wheeljack was the only one keeping up. "In short, we need two bridges opposite of each other and have Soundwave stand in between them," Bulkhead said.

"On the same spot we trapped him, the command center of the Nemesis," Wheeljack said. "That might be a problem," Arcee said, hope reducing slightly. "He could be anywhere by now," Bumblebee said. "Or worse," Smokescreen said, optics wide," he's offline."

A heavy silence followed. Nobody had actually thought about that possibility. "Let's just hope that he's at the right time at the right place," Bumblebee said softly. Arcee nodded," Let's try it. Right now." The rest agreed and they went to the groundbridge controls.

They left tot eh Nemesis to find out on how to get two separate bridges at the same time. Unbeknown to them, Soundwave had heard everything and followed. After seeing Ratchet drag Knockout off, he decided to sit by himself in the recroom. The Autobots had sat close by and he followed their conversation.

Laserbeak chirred at her master. They were going to be free! Soundwave wished he could help, but was forced to see them fail over and over. His spark jumped in excitement when Bulkhead finally figured it out.

Two groundbridges appeared, one from the Nemesis' console and one from the Autobot HQ. The others made sure not to stand between them. Soundwave was still wary and carefully inched closer. Laserbeak was a lot less wary and a lot more impatient. She flew between the two bridges before Soundwave could stop her.

With fright in his spark he watched her disappear with a whoosh. He wanted to cry out to her, when he suddenly heard the Autobots yell in surprise. He looked up and saw Laserbeak flying circles across the ceiling.

Now that he was a lot less frightened, he stepped between the bridges. There was a flash of green and suddenly he could feel the area around him. He knew it had worked when he saw the expressions on the faceplates of the Autobots. Laserbeak came down and clicked herself to her master's chestplates. They were finally visible, finally free!

Bumblebee stepped forward," Soundwave, Kno-" But before he could finish his sentence, Soundwave transformed and flew off, leaving the others in shock behind. He didn't care, he had better places to be.

There was a certain mech who needed him.


	7. Chapter 7

**This is the last chapter of Object of Affection.**

 **I'd like to thank everybody for the kudos/likes/favs, comments/review and reading/views.**

"Knockout! Stop it!" Ratchet yelled as Knockout pulled the energondrip out of his arm. "No!" Knockout yelled back. "If you don't get energon inside your frame fast, you'll offline!" Ratchet said frustrated. Why was Knockout being so stubborn? Didn't he realize how close he was to permanently offlining? Maybe he did…

Ratchet was not ready to lose Knockout. "Maybe I'm better off offline," Knockout muttered. He realized he said it out loud when he looked back at Ratchet who had gone quiet, shock clearly on his faceplates.

"You don't mean that," Ratchet said invariably. Knockout said nothing as tears welled up in his optics. "I am not. Going. To. Let. You. Go." Ratchet said through gritted dentae. He tried to stick the needle of the energondrip back into Knockout's energonlines, but the red mech struggled. "For Primus' sake, Knockout!" he yelled.

He was not ready to lose another mech, another friend. He had said it out loud and Knockout stopped struggling and looked at him with optics blown wide. Ratchet took good use of the mech's shock, slipped the energondrip in his arm and gave him a slight sedate. Knockout's expression turned to a look of betrayal. His optics were half closed as the sedate began to work.

"You really are my friend," Ratchet whispered and stroke Knockout's helm. Knockout mumbled something incoherent back. Now that Ratchet was confident Knockout wasn't able to pull the energondrip out, he went to remove some of the monitors.

Right that moment, the medbay doors opened with a bang and revealed a heavily cycling Soundwave. "Soundwave?!" Ratchet asked in shock, sparkmonitor in his servos," What…how?"

Soundwave's spark stopped. He couldn't be too late…no… He dropped to his knees. "No," he croaked with his real voice. Ratchet rushed towards the mech, scanner in his servo. He quickly scanned Soundwave, but he turned out to be fine. "Please," Soundwave said, begging as he grabbed Ratchet's servo," Please."

Ratchet was surprised by Soundwave using his real voice, he had never heard that before. Suddenly he realized what Soundwave meant. "He's going to be ok," he said and helped Soundwave up," he has a very, very low energon level. It'll take some time before he's fully recovered, but it will be alright."

He brought Soundwave closer to the berth. "Knockout, you've got a visitor," Ratchet said softly, shaking the red mech. Knockout looked up with blurry optics. As his vision cleared, his spark pulsed harshly.

"…Soundwave?"

Soundwave took hold of Knockout's outstretched servo. "I'm here," he said," and I'm never going to leave." The medic smiled as tears rolled down his cheekplates. "You're not a fidget of my imagination," Knockout whispered. Soundwave removed his mask, showing his own tears.

He promptly pulled Knockout in for a kiss. All the tears made it feel weird, but both mechs thought it was perfect.

"You need to rest, Knockout," Soundwave said," You've been through a lot." Knockout snorted, but closed his optics. He had an iron grip on Soundwave's servo and refused to let go. Soundwave smiled and laid on the berth next to his love. After a bit, he too fell into recharge.

"Do you think he knew?" Bumblebee asked. Him and the others had been back just in time to see it all happen. "Yeah, makes you wonder how long he's been around," Smokescreen said, making the laughter die down. "…Let's not think about that," Wheeljack stated. "Good idea," Arcee agreed.

"I'm just happy that they got back to each other," Bulkhead said," Knockout was so miserable…" The others nodded their helms. "Alright, let them recharge," Ratchet said, shooing them out of the medbay. "Aww, but they're so cute," Bumblebee joked. "you are cute," Smokescreen said and smooched him. Bee blushed and lightly shove Smokescreen.

The others didn't look at all surprised. They had all seen it coming. Smokescreen laughed and pulled Bee along. Arcee shook her helm as she followed the two. Wheeljack and Bulkhead waited for Ratchet to close the medbay doors and join them. "You did well, Doc," Wheeljack said and grinned. Ratchet offered him a small smile. "Let us get some energon," he said," It has been a long day."

Knockout slowly onlined his optics. "Sorry to wake you, but I need to, to check for processor damage," Ratchet whispered softly. Knockout nodded.

"What's your designation?"

"Knockout."

"Where are you right this moment?"

"Medbay, Autobot HQ.

"Last question," Ratchet said," who is currently lying beside you?" Knockout's expression turned from tired to confused. He turned his helm and almost got a sparkattack when he came faceplate to faceplate with Soundwave.

"Soundwave?"

Ratchet nodded, a smile on his face. "Oh, I had Laserbeak detach from him in order to check her vitals," Ratchet said. Knockout could see the bird-like creature recharging on a desk nearby the wall. "I'll make sure he won't freak out," Knockout said softly. Ratchet smiled and left again.

Knockout studied Soundwave's features close. Never before had he had the chance to see Soundwave's faceplates. He softly stroke Soundwave's cheekplates with the tips of his digits. He let them glide over every part of Soundwave's faceplates, memorizing it.

Slowly, those beautiful optics onlined, instantly focusing on Knockout. "Oh Primus…" Knockout whispered," you're so handsome…and you're not a dream…" Soundwave took hold of the servo that had been stroking his cheekplates and kissed it. "I will never be a dream," Soundwave whispered.

Knockout was still amazed by the sound of Soundwave's real voice. "You are to me," Knockout whispered back. Soundwave smiled and wrapped his arms around Knockout. He sighed, content to finally be able to hold the medic. "You have no idea how long I've longed to be able to touch you," he murmured against Knockout's audio.

"Or you, how long I've been dreaming of my knight in shiny palting," Knockout chuckled. "We both know you're the shiny one," Soundwave said laughing softly," Even Laserbeak knows." It was quiet for a moment, Soundwave realizing that a part of him was missing. Knockout could see the rising panic in his optics.

"Calm down, Ratchet detached her to make sure she's alright," Knockout explained," Primus knows what happens to those who've been stuck in the shadow zone for a long time." Soundwave calmed down as he sensed Laserbeak close by.

"I can tell you, it's a living nightmare," Soundwave said," No matter how long you're stuck there you're vitals stay the same, you need no energon or what so ever. Being so close, yet so far. Hearing and seeing everything, yet you do not exist. Nobody can hear you, see you. You can't touch anybody and phase through walls. It's very lonely."

He let out a sigh. Only know did he notice the trembling frame next to him. "I'm so sorry," Knockout choke out," it sounds horrible." Soundwave smiled and pulled the red mech close. "Shhh, it's alright. All is well now. I'm with you," he said. Knockout clung to his plating afraid to let go.

Soundwave lifted Knockout's helm and looked into his red optics. He pressed their lipplates together, slowly deepening the kiss. Knockout mewled in surprise, but closed his optics and kissed back. Soundwave didn't want to pull away, he wanted to stay like this forever, but did pull away eventually.

They looked in each other's optics when suddenly Laserbeak landed on top of Knockout. She chirred loudly and softly pecked at the cherry red mech. Knockout laughed and petted her. "It's good to see you too," he said as she nuzzled him.

Soundwave turned a bit so she could attach herself again. With a chirr she did just that. "She's very happy to see you're okay, she was worried," Soundwave said as he petted his chest. "You probably woke her with your excitement," Knockout smirked.

Soundwave smiled and laid back, pulling the medic close. He smooched the top of Knockout's helm. It didn't take them long to fall into recharge again, intertwined with each other.

Soundwave awoke suddenly. He looked around in confusion. What had awoken him? Then he heard a metallic clank and some angry hissing that could only come from the CMO of the Autobots.

"I told you to leave," Ratchet's voice sounded from outside the medbay. "I just wanted to see how they're doing," said a mech. "I'll tell you one last time, Smokescreen, they're still recharging," Ratchet said," Now leave." The rookie's pedesteps resonated through the halls as he quickly left.

Soundwave grinned. Now he had the time to watch his recharging beauty. He really wanted to stroke the white faceplates, but he was afraid to touch. Afraid that he was finally gone mad in the shadow zone and his mind was making an alternate reality up. His fear subsided as he very softly touched Knockout's cheekplates. He decided that if this really was an alternate reality, he was completely fine with it.

He trembled slightly as he stroke the cherry red mech's cheekplates. With his other arm he pulled the medic as close as he could. He could still hardly believe it. Knockout loved him. Knockout loved him and was so lost without him, he'd unconsciously was offlining himself, but he saved him. From now on, he'd always be there to guide the way. Knockout would never be lost again.

"Soundwave," Knockout's voice sounded, muffled by Soundwave's chest," you're smothering me." Soundwave loosened his grip so Knockout was able to look up at him, he had unconsciously squeezed Knockout tightly against him. "Sorry," he muttered. Knockout smiled at him and leaned up to kiss him. Soundwave eagerly returned the kiss.

But before he could deepen it, Ratchet entered the medbay. "Calm down or you'll tire the patient," Ratchet said smugly. Soundwave pulled back, blushing. "Aww, you're so cute when you blush!" Knockout exclaimed and laughed.

Soundwave covered his faceplates with his servos. "And you know no shame," Ratchet said. Knockout shrugged. He took hold of Soundwave's servos and pulled them away from his faceplates. He softly kissed Soundwave. Snuggling up to each other, they fell into recharge.

When Knockout emerged from the medbay, the other Autobots were all present and clapping for him, making him slightly embarrassed. It had been Bumblebee's idea to throw a little party, well…it was only a bit of music and some energon, but none the less.

Bee and Smokescreen were the first on the dancefloor. The wreckers and Ratchet were content with simply drinking their cube of energon. "You know I have to kick your skidplates the next time you do something stupid like this," Arcee said. She sat at a table with Soundwave and Knockout. Soundwave held Knockout's servo, not feeling comfortable with the threatening of his mech.

"You know you won't have to, it will not happen again," Knockout said, snorting," Come, Soundwave, dance with me." No sooner had he said that or he was dragging Soundwave to the dancefloor. "You know she isn't really threatening me," Knockout said softly so only Soundwave could hear. Soundwave hmpf-ed. "Besides, you don't react like this when Ratchet's threatening me," Knockout said. "That's because that's his way of showing affection," Soundwave said," but no other gets to threaten what's mine. And you're mine."

Knockout chuckled. A slow song come up and they started to shuffle softly with each other. When Soundwave looked at Knockout, those beautiful faceplates, he suddenly felt the urge to kiss him. So he did. He dipped Knockout low and pressed his lipplates firmly against Knockout's. Soundwave was not ashamed. He wanted to show everybody that Knockout was his. So he deepened the kiss and dragged a moan from his love, smiling happily.

Life couldn't be better, even thought life at first was at its most difficult.


End file.
